One of my favourite movies, American Psycho, portrays a serial killer who goes through a lengthy facial treatment each and every morning to revitalize himself. Upon searching Google for the list of products the main character uses, I came across an Amazon Guide that went to great detail on what exactly to purchase. I always wanted to try it out for myself to see what kind of benefits it would bring to one’s face, so I went ahead and ordered all the items on the page. After two weeks of usage, I noticed a more vibrant appearance in my facial features. My skin felt less coarse and a few girls actually noticed the change. 🙂 The non-alcoholic after-shave sure does feel good too.
Anyway, here’s the list of products for everyone’s benefit. I revised the products and added the out of stock / missing ones with the appropriate substitutes.
Patrick Bateman: I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I’m 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now.
After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion.
In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser.
Then a honey almond body scrub.
And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub.
Nivea for Men Energizing Face Scrub, Normal Skin, 4.4 Ounces
Alternatives: Dove Gentle Exfoliating Foaming Facial Cleanser, 6.76-Ounce Tubes, Pond’s Fresh Start Daily Exfoliating Cleanser 6.7oz.
Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine.
I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older.
then an anti-aging eye balm…
followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.